qgertie

So I've been back at school for... three days.  I'm already getting into new (and old) funks.  All I really want to do is sit in my room and hibernate, because every time I venture out to talk to people I am incredibly touchy and get all kinds of put down.  SO, what?  I miss out on all the good "getting to know you time" just because I'm feeling incredibly blue?  This sucks.

In other news, all my classes seem either incredibly boring, incredibly hard, or incredibly boring AND hard.

I wish I were the kind of person with a network of friends that it wasn't so damn hard to be around.  I just want to not be alone, but not have to engage in this stupid witty banter that makes part of my soul die that I am neither good at nor pleased with as a form of meaningful conversation. 

 Yeah, I know, call the waaambulance.

Does it ever occur to you that you spend just too much time spending too much time on little things?  Upset over, ultimately, something that will only bother you for a little while?  Chill out, people.  Then people won't be so sick to death of you when you have something to really bellyache about.

just saying.

I love you I love you I love you

just thought you should know.

Sewing a chasible for my mom.  It's green!  And basically a poncho.
 
I've also been keeping myself busybusybusy! Planning yet another adventure into the world of writing murder mystery party's, planning all the frivolity.

Hopeful about the Williamsburg trip... I want dates etc, but don't want to actually move forward with any project doing.  Going to have to plunck down $10 for the pattern I want soon, then pay the hangman for the fabric.

Before I can do any of that I need to finish the quilt I'm making my sister as a "this counts as three Christmases" present.

Meh.  It keeps my hands busy.  The party planning keeps my head busy.  Busy busy busy!

and it feels pretty damn good!

Clara Everhart made a 4.0 this semester.

She has a 3.95 for freshman year.

She has NEVER done so well academically.

Her parents are currently jumping up and down.

Just realized my favorite slasher movie (lol, I only like one slasher movie) stars Jared from Supernatural. Anyone want to download it for me and watch it with me (after exams, i'm not stupid) I WILL PAY YOU IN POPCORN

So, like the rest of the internet, I have become enamored of fmylife.com. In case you have completely missed out on/ignored this phenomena, fmylife, and its even-shorter-hand, fml, stands for f*ck my life. This is an expression uttered by someone who has experienced a supreme moment of stupidity, or a situation that there seems to be no good way to end, such as a personal favorite of mine:

Today, my fiance's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. I'm a vegetarian. They had names. FML.

Now, I have kept up with the site, from its glorious beginnings to its not-so-glorious present day. It has, like all other fads, become boring and over the top and stupid.

NOW. For what you have all been waiting for!

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM FMYLIFE.COM

1) Most stupid situations are worth an FML. A moment of laughing at ones self, sort of a pulling at the collar and going "eeeeeugh." An exclamation of FML can lighten a bad thing. For instance:

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

2) Sometimes, FML is the only response you can have to a terrible situation, when you feel bad, but how were you supposed to know? Like all awkward humor, this is absolute gold.

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

3) Relating to #2, foot-in-mouth disease. It's just funny!

4) Sadness does not belong in fmylife. If you want a pity party, go to a site like "one sentence," or the hugs one. Don't go to a humor site. By posting something that conflicts with the humorous aspect of the site, you confuse the reader. Don't confuse me. It makes me mad.

Today, I decided to eat at this new cafe near my apartment. When I sat down a super flamboyant waiter came up to me and asked for my order. I asked him what he recommended. He said "to be honest honey, you could go for the salad." I just got out of an eating disorders rehab and put on 30 pounds. FML

5) Most of the time, you do not deserve a FML if it was brought on by sarcasm.

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so i said "yeah that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

Then don't tell them you want to go to military school! This is a common theme in fmylife. "___ said something, I said _____, but I was KIDDING. So it DIDN'T COUNT. Geez!" Except, my friends, that is not how life works. And it is boring and frustrating to read.

So, in essence-- I really enjoy fmylife.com. I do not enjoy reading about how sarcasm caused needless pain a trouble in your life.. You deserved it. Because sarcasm sucks.

And now, just because these are the best of the best:

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

Clara requires more sleep. Why did Clara stay up so late? Also, tummy hurts.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I've got to get up and do something. Usually I change pjs, or change the sheets, or gently rearrange my pillow. Sometimes I find a long-ignored stuffed animal to sit at my feet or tuck under my arm. I turn off an ipod, I turn on an ipod. I set it to "shuffle."

I assume most people get the "gotta change!" antsy pants every once in a while.

Last night I started to change the change the bed at one AM, while my roomie was still puttering around. We had a nice laugh about it, and I finally was told why she hadn't remade her bed in four days (spilled liquid soap on the mattress.)

I'm off to work out, my body has decided that this is a sad time. I'm trying to convince it otherwise, but it is an uphill struggle. Hints and tricks from the motherly crowd to stave off the blues?

guys, how do you know when poetry is good?

Sooo... I've been sick for six-ish days.  Sorry?

To make up for it, I had a computer create a haiku from one of my posts.  AWESOME.  I kept clicking until something neat came up!

a large wheeled cart
and the largest down jacket
i have ever seen

Well, I did not get into the Radio Play I auditioned for... bummer. 
I missed a day of work because I felt icky and sick... bummer. 
I feel icky and sick... bummer. 
My room still isn't clean... bummer. 
I have a lot of work to get done this weekend... bummer.
This post sucks... bummer.

Somethings just suck.  For everything else, there's a boyfriend who is willing to pick up a pizza and watch Ratatouille with you.

I was cleaning my room today, but all I seem to do is make it messier.  I swear I'm loosing things left and right, but only for minutes at a time.  In an effort to "Simplify!"  (Thanks, Thoreau!) I'm rethinking many of my systems.

For example, I'm going to start keeping my contacts case on my desk.  THEN I can put in my contacts right before I check my email in the morning.  Huzzah, no more headaches because I forgot to put in my contacts!

Also, I bought some hooks and things to put up necklaces.  So maybe I'll try accessorizing this semester.

In other news... Jeremy and I watched the newest Supernatural today (on the TV!  Instead of on a laptop!)and it was GREAT.  Not at all the plot I expected, cute boys to oggle, a cute boy to snuggle, what more could a gal want?  All this was after we had an Executive Meeting with David and Hana.  A Time Wind meeting!  I swear, my life got 300Xs better after Time Wind was invented.

"Well, self.  What do you want to write about today?"
"Eh.  I spent some time keeping updated on lj today.  It looks like I've already posted today!"
"But you haven't.  You wrote those last entries on Sunday, and yesterday, respectively."
"Well, yeah.  But can't I just... you know, not?"
"Write?"
"Yeah."
"But you love writing!"
"But it just seems like if I HAVE to do it, I don't enjoy it!"
"LIES!  This is exactly why taking the icing challenge was so important!  Whole month of MUST, then it will be a habit!"
"But..."
"Hey.  It's either write something, or you have to work out NOW instead of after class."
"But... I hate working out!"
"LIES!  You enjoy the endorphin rush!"
___________

     Its been on my mind for a bit, actually.  My mom (hi mom!) was in a documentary about the Holy Land.  Whole bunch of pastors and my mom, off to the land of burkas and stars of David and milk/honey.  I've never felt a particular pull, but Mom is absolutely nuts for the land of Jesus, so I'm sure I'll grow into it.
     In any case, we recently got an unfinished copy of the DVD to watch.  Mom looks super fantastic, and speaks intelligently and with a genuine warmth for the discussions of religion and turmoil that are enclosed.  It is a proud moment, to watch my witty, charming, knowledgeable mother in such a far away place.
     But the moment of the DVD that really stands out is the altercation that took place between my Mom and The Jerk (also a pastor).  Mom is leading worship (and when Mom leads worship, it is a very nice experience) and The Jerk is just being disrespectful and... well, a jerk. 
So, Mom tries to explain a sort of music that she enjoys hearing, and it is deeply resonant with her.  The group encourages her to sing it.  Mom assures them that it won't be amazing (an it wasn't.  It was perfectly nice.  She sounded like anybody else, singing Latin acappella. It was not at all unpleasant.)  So she begins to sing, when The Jerk and The Jerk-ess begin chortling.  Those bastards!  Mom falters, then stops altogether when the laughing does not stop. 
     Thing is, the DVD had previously shown The Jerk leading service.  And it was fine, it was whatever.  I wouldn't have stuck around for coffee hour.
     But for whatever reason, The Jerk declared, in his actions, that this form of worship, and that my mother's worship to God was somehow less sacred than his own.  It was to be sniggered at.
     At that moment, as my blood raged under my skin, and I just wanted to KICK SOMEBODY, I saw myself.
     With perfect clarity, I could recall times I had ...well, sniggered.  Laughed at someone's worship.  Thought, "How ridiculous."  
     I don't know.  Maybe I'm being harsh.

Today I had three separate encounters with three separate homeless men. Well, one was homeless. The others may have just been extraordinarily drunk/crazy.

1. Entering the Boylston T stop, a man stood at the bottom of stairs. As I descended towards him, he looked up and croaked, "chaaaaaaaaaaange?" with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. I continued forward, mostly because the stop was only populated by the man, myself, and a dozing pigeon.

2. On the T now, I sat down two seats away from a man surrounded by black and white trash bags, a large wheeled cart, and the largest down jacket I have ever seen. As a new wave of passengers entered the car, I suddenly smelt vomit. The man reeked, and I discreetly breathed in the opposite direction.

3. A man wearing a Red Socks jacket entered the train. He sat across from another patron, a woman in her early twenties. He tried to engage the girl in conversation, but his voice was too loud, too brash, too wild. He gestured violently as he spoke. The girl stared straight ahead, never making eye contact.

Then I was followed for three and a half blocks by two elderly men who were smoking and cursing loudly. But I think they were just enjoying a winter day.

Today I got up in front of everyone and told a story.
It was languages of the Stage forum, and Shea needed someone to give an example... the master plan being that "all stories have an innate narrative arc." The entire forum was sitting there, nobody moving. My first though was, well, gee, I'd love to If only I could think of a story... Eventually, my classic Jane Langton! In Concord! We had tea! story came to mind. So I hesitantly threw up a hand, and was called on.
I was forced to the front of the room (the Semel, an actual theater) and shook Sea's hand. I told me story, which half of the room liked and the other half was apathetic about. The apathetic ones were mostly actors and designers, I think. Losers.
Anyways, my story concluded and I returned to my seat. All in all, made the class less PAINFULLY BORING, which is why I threw up my hand in the first place. I can't be PAINFULLY BORED if I'm invested, now can I?

So how does this relate to anything? Where is my narrative arc? Well, basically, I've been thinking muchly about my performances. I just auditioned for a radio play, and one of my goals is to get onstage/in front of a camera/ATTENTION this semester.

...Well. Thats really all I have to say. Except for the fact that I have (dramatic music) A GOAL! To write (lj and fb) something every day for the entire month of feb. They might suck, but gosh darn it, I'm doing it. Some may be more personal than others. So, umm. See you?

Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me the best and comment with your choices. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock
* brains or brawn
* common sense or book smarts